Home Again

The big bad tissue

It is 2:00 am and as much as I would like, I cannot sleep. We have been home three days and I thought by now my body would be adjusted but...I guess not. So, I thought I would try to write while things are still fresh in my mind (not sure anything in my mind is fresh at this point, but it in there).

As we spent our days, all four of us squeezed onto a little bench on the playground, visiting with Dimitri, the realities of orphanage life became evident. When the weather was warmer we were surrounded by the children as they came out to play. There were often 20 or more children ranging from 18 months to 4 years with 2 care givers. Each child is one of many. It is things like, a warm little hug and kiss on the cheek while being brushed off after falling, or those encouraging words and twinkling smile that watches as you swing or climb high, that eye contact and cooing while being changed, that is missing. That realization brought sadness to my heart. The workers mean well but just do not have the time and for some it is just a job. But again what amazes me was seeing the little individual personalities that were shinning through in spite of it all. Oh if they can only continue to shine!!!

Once Dimitri was moved from the isolation unit he was put into group one where there were 10 other babies under 18 months. There was a couple big wooden playpens in one big room and then another room with cribs, which we never saw. I don't think we impressed his care givers at all. Each day when we arrived for our visit they would make us wait outside the closed door while they bundled him up. Then they would hand him out to us and say 30 min. maybe 45 and once an hour for our visit time. On the last day, we brought cakes and cookies and soda as a thank you. When they handed him out to us on this day they said "as long as you like" we decided if we ever do it again, we will bring treats on the first day.

It was so wonderful to watch Dimitri come out of his shell over the four days. By the last day he was recognizing us as we came to get him. He would greet us with kicking legs and a big smile. Although that made it even harder to leave him! He loved to reach out and pat our faces and high five the kids. He has a great big smile and sort of a panting laugh. He hates having his nose wiped and can turn the tears on and off quickly. He has totally won all of our hearts. I had to fight off the urge each day to just scoop him up and walk out the door and be done with the whole orphanage thing. I wished I had a way to tell him and that he could understand that we would be back. I never imagined how hard it would be to leave him there!!!

Our trip home was verrrrrry long but went smoothly. We made all connections with time to spare and all of our luggage made it too. Nick and Julia were great. However, they are quite sure, that as much as they want to see Dimitri, they do not want to go back.